December 18, 2013

Things Aren't Always As They Appear....

I've thought about this a lot lately.  It's something that I'm having a hard time grasping.  However, I've come to the conclusion that our identity and what things we define ourselves with or put out to the world CHANGES.

I've always liked that I knew who I was:
-Child of God, athletic, blonde haired, dumb humored, sarcastic, competitive, dominant human being. ;]

I've always had confidence in who I was and was excited to share pieces of me with ANYONE who was interested.

Interestingly enough, with all this growing up and stuff, I've changed.  Not sure how I didn't realize it, or why I feel in denial about it.

Most of the time I surround myself with people I've known for quite some time, so they know the whole Hailey.  However with dating or meeting new friends, the only things these new people know about Hailey are the things I tell them/show them about myself. Sometimes I catch myself trying to explain or incorporate the old me and I have to stop and think if that is who I am currently.

An easy example: I don't really use the word DOMINATION as much as I used to.   It hardly comes up in my conversations anymore, where as in high school (and even sometime after high school.....) I was OBSESSED with the word domination.  Why? No particular reason really.  I liked building off the implied confidence that carried with the word DOMINATION.  I tried to dominate everything in my life, and it certainly helped grow my bad habit of trash talking.... #oops.

So when I go bowling and I am asked what I want my bowling name to be, and I automatically type DOMINATION, people laugh in the "not entirely sure what that's about, but it's kinda funny, but you're dead serious so I don't really know how to react so I'll keep chuckling" sort of way, but have no idea the history and feelings I have behind that word.  Part of me feels sad that these new people won't know that side of me, because I sure did have a lot of fun with it.   However, I've changed and in this instance, grown up.

I understand this is a small, insignificant change in my life which may not be the best example to illustrate my feelings toward these new-founded life/personality changes.  However, for the most part I am really happy with how I've changed and I'm excited for some future changes.


  1. I'm excited for you Hailey! You may have changed a lot, but you're still an amazing friend :) Can't wait to see you in < 24 hours!

  2. You are all grown up and awesome! I really like this post - great analogy with the word domination too! :)

  3. I was just thinking the other day - "it's so weird to see Hailey post pics with people who aren't Karlie, Kaylynn or Anisa!" but not in a bad way! I remember when I realized that all of my closest friends were people I didn't know and maybe wouldn't even have been friends with in High School and how different I am now. It's a good thing. :)