Conditioner on no Condition

Scenario:  Hotel staff provide certain "necessities" to occupants so that they may be able to wash themselves and not stinketh.  Recently I found a make up remover pad and bath and body works flavored soap. Going the extra mile huh? Jack pot! 

Question:  Why do hotels never provide conditioner, but almost always provide hair nets?

Think about it. They go through all this work to try and provide high quality soaps and shampoo...to impress who?  The woman kind.  Do you think most men care whether they have sweet pea or rain forest leaves smelling lotion?  Nope, they don't.  Those details are to impress the women.  So why on earth would they not provide conditioner with their succulent smelling shampoo??  I'll trade you the lotion for some conditioner.  I have only been to maybe 2 hotel rooms that have provided conditioner and it baffles me every time.  Plus who has ever used the hair net....?  Wikipedia says that sometimes gang members use hair nets as part of their uniform.  Hotels would rather you join a gang than have soft, tangle free hair.  Think of all the violence they have encouraged.  So much for world peace.

Am I ranting?  Probably.  Is this a problem that has caused upset to more than 4 million women and thus ruined thousands of vacations due to a grumpy, snarly haired mother?  You betcha.  Any one wanna go on strike and refuse to shower until we have conditioner stationed in every hotel room?  Good me either, I smell when I don't shower.  :)

Champions

Well... I'm here to report good news!!  Introducing......

Red Devils - SF Women's League Champions 2011

We did it!!   Not only did we pull of the big 'W,'  we did it in style, 8-2 style!  This team was comprised of most of our high school soccer team members just re-living the glory days.  It felt so good to be able to play with 'my team' again.  We still had the same connection we did in high school, even after 3 years of all being apart.   Sad thing is that this is probably the last time we will all get to play together.  Something bogus about school being a higher priority.... weird.  ;) So, after 3 years, where are all of us at and where are we going?  I'll start left top and work my way to the right bottom.

RAE:  Just dominated Hodgkin's lymphoma cancer and has recovered so well!!  If she's not considered a fighter I don't know who is.

KAYLIE:  Has been married to Bryce for about a year now (most adorable married couple I've ever seen) and works as a dental assistant!

KAYLYN:  Just finished her 1st year of the Nursing program at BYU and is officially 33% of a nurse.  She'll be saving lives in no time, nbd.

BRANDI:  This girl is bound to put a smile on your face within the first 30 seconds of meeting here, guaranteed.  Home for the summer, but soon will be returning to living the dream in the SUU scene. 

ME:  Paralegal of 2 years and graduating with Paralegal Degree from UVU after this fall semester! Oh, and recently won the award for most "Dominating" person of 2011. ;) 

KATIE:  Happily married to her Dave and quickly approaching their 1 year anniversary!  She's a high rollin' nurse for a home, health and hospice agency, and a dang good one at that!

KARLIE: Finished school (yay!) and looking to teach teens all about eating disorders, nutrition, diseases and other heath matters.  Mrs. Mitchell is tearin' up the marriage scene with her hubby Jake of 1 year!

ANISA:  Taking over Idaho in one fell swoop.  Just finished her first year of Pharmacy School at ISU and soon will be treating all your prescription needs with that pretty smile!

BETSY:  Just turned in her papers to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints!! With her easy going personality and beautiful face how could anyone turn down her invitation to get a little wet?!

And that my friends is what I call a great group of girls. We weren't able to get everyone together for the team, but I'm so glad we were able to get this bunch together.  These ladies will always hold a special spot in my heart, and I wish the best of luck to each of them as they conquer life with such great style.  Who knows how I got so lucky, but nevertheless, I'm grateful.

Champions inside and out.

Insert Rocky Theme Music Here

Today is the day that our soccer team rises above the competition and sets the stage for our championship trophy.  Finals start today against our arch nemesis Orange Crush at 9:00 pm.  Am I nervous?  Well... does a navy seal get nervous when faced with a plastic kiddie pool? I think not, and thus it is, I am not nervous.  For I know we are well equipt with the skills to DOMINATE! Currently we are tied with Orange Crush for 1st place and so the battle will be fierce.  We have potentially 3 games in the next two days to prove our worthiness

-good thing we went to the temple yesterday ;) -

but hopefully we can put the trophy in the bag after the first two games.  Orange Crush is a good team and always gives us a good game, but they won't be ready for our phenomenal trick plays and deep bonds of friendship.  We will be victorious!

Okay, okay I've stepped from my drama platform to normal ground now.  Sorry, once that ball gets rolling I have a hard time aborting. Courtesy of Papa Francis :)   I really am so excited / nervous for our game tonight!  I know we can pull out a win but it'll be challenge that's for sure.  I wouldn't want it any other way.  It's amazing how intense and determined I can be when the end reward is a soccer t shirt. nbd it's just a t shirt you say?  Wrong, that t shirt will have one word on it that will bring short term bragging rights. 

CHAMPIONS.

Gold's Gym

Who believes that everyone who goes here holds a hidden agenda to meet the opposite sex higher than actually working out? (Meat Market?)  Who believes that all the girls that go, weigh no more than 100 pounds and look darker than even a tanning bed could help them achieve?  Who believes that all the men that go take a shower before so it looks like they are sweaty from working out (but without the odor) and strut around grunting and staring at themselves in the mirror?  I have to admit, before a few weeks ago I would have raised my hand to all of those questions and probably had a few more prejudgments to add to the list.   Gold's Gym has always held a generally negative stereo type for me and to be honest I have no idea as to where it originated from.  However, I changed my ways and I went to figure it out for myself!  Guess what, Gold's Gym is....... a gym.... and that's about it.  Just a place where people of all shapes, sweat capacities and sizes come to work out.  Imagine that!  The best part is that there are a ton of treadmills!!  So far I haven't had to wait in a line creeping on a runner for a chance to race to an empty treadmill, and I have appreciated that. 

Since I am always so prepared I brought my iRun and headphones to help keep me motivated.  Of course each time we've got I've realized too late that I've forgotten to charge my iRun, and/or I have brought the wrong headphones so I couldn't listen to it anyways.  So instead I end up plugging my headphones into the treadmill and watch what is on TV.  Last time, the only interesting thing on (Seinfeld) was on the TV so far to the left I couldn't actually see it.  On a personal TV on the treadmill in front of me "Friends" was playing but I couldn't figure out how to listen to that one.  I was stuck.  Jerry playing in my ear but watching Rachel and Ross in counseling.  Intriguingly I started to pick up on how well Seinfeld's commentary was matching up with what I was watching in front of me.... Rachel slams her hand on the desk and Jerry said, "I just can't take this anymore! The nagging has got to stop."  Kramer bursts in and states something about succulent watermelon, right as Ross mumbles something and looks longingly towards the door.  The next scene Rachel and Ross in a fluster pass Joey on the street and Jerry says, "Oh come on, you can't leave on account of bad tuna!"  Okay so maybe I don't entirely remember the exact dialogue, but it was pretty entertaining to say the least.

Overall Gold's Gym has been a fantastic experience!  Both Kaylyn and Todd have passes to Gold's, so I have people to go with!  After braving my first meeting with Mr. Gold, I have learned my lesson (yet again) to never judge a gym by my preconceived notions.  Gold's Gym is pretty impressive, and I can't wait to start some of their classes! So...if anyone wants to gym it up at Gold's, give me a jingle!

Landlocked

I can't wait until our San Diego trip... hello beach! Only 3 weeks!  Shizuka!

New word I just discovered.... any takers?

Just me, okay great, I'll add it to my list of words that annoy Kaylyn. :)

Oh and p.s. it's friday.... have another comic :)

 (or 4 more....)

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Welcome to FB

Today my dad came into my office and excitedly said, "Guess what!"

Me: "What?!"

Dad: "Mom and I are friends on Facebook." :)

He broke down and finally activated his Facebook.  I don't know what brought this on, but he was shooting out friend requests like it was no one's business.   Then he asked me, "So, what's the advantage of being your friend?"  I realized at that moment that my father was sizing up my contribution to his friend bank and my donations must not have been holding up very well.   Now that he had joined up with the rest of the world, he had to make sure he was a selective Facebooker.  I tried to prove that our "friendship" was in fact worthwhile, but didn't make a very good presentation.  "You can... keep updated with me and see all my pictures!"   He went along with it to satisfy my lame excuses.  Really there was no dire need for our facebook friendship, but I was shocked at how slighted I started to feel when my dad was questioning the 'validity' of our friendship.  As I thought about it, I would have a hard time arguing that anyone should keep me as their facebook friend.  If someone was weeding you out of their friend list, what would you say to keep your spot?

You can stalk me all you want?  Greeaaat!

I have really fascinating status updates about

choosing Skippy over Jif Peanut Butter?!

They definitely need an update on my

latest purchase of Vans shoes right??

sarcasm font needed.

Yeah I don't know how many people would be convinced by those arguments.   After all, a lot of my friends on Facebook are there for when I can sneak the occasional update on their last vacation, or to investigate their latest boyfriend/girlfriend.  The feeling is mutual though,  they are friends with me for the exact same reason and that's just fine!    Well it took him 30 minutes max to be bored with Facebook and he was done.  Maybe next time he gets on we can chat.. you know since we are official friends now. :)

P.S. Remember this song?

Oldy but Goody - Love it.

J-Dawg

Can I get a shout out for the best dad around? 

With Father's day taking place yesterday we are all a little more aware of how fantastic our dads are.  No matter what the situation, we each can find something about our father that has positively influenced us for the better.  J-Dawg (not the hut selling hot dogs, but rather a nickname for my father) has influenced me in so many ways I don't even know where to begin.  He raised me with morals and great character traits such as hard work and patience, he passed on his witty sense of humor to me, and best of all, through his example he showed me the importance of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and how easy it can be to follow faithfully.  He has always been a huge support and such a great example to me.  Not only my dad, but I am grateful for all the dads out there; for all the contribution they have in molding each of us into who we are today. Thank you for everything you've done for me Dad.  I love you!

Little Miss KSJM

KSJM = Karlie Sue Jensen Mitchell*
*Such middle names may or may not have been fabricated by Kaylyn Swanson, and have stuck due to persistence and repetition.

Happy birthday to one of my best friends!!  This girl has been there for me through thick and thin, and I don't know where I would be without her! I am so lucky to be able to still keep in contact with her and I'm grateful to have her in my life!  Don't take my word for it!  Click here to see how great she really is...  Love you Kar!

The Need for Generalization

Once again, I've come to the realization that men have it easy.  I'm sure most of the women out there could list off situations that make the previous statement true.  Some situations including but not limited to: their lack of having to deal with child birth, labor pains, hormones, and that they can go to the bathroom standing up.   However, putting all those argument starters aside, I've got a new one for you. 

Men are politely referred to as Mr. ____ and that's it.

Women on the other hand feel the need to be labeled even more specifically. 

Ms.

           Miss.

                             Mrs.

Really?  Three options?  Mr. can be applied to a married or a single man so no matter what the situation, you are covered.   However, what happens when a lady is recently widowed?  If you say Ms. they could get extremely upset due to their loss, but if the next day they were waiting for the doors to open at the insurance office then maybe they would be upset if you called them Mrs.  You have to make a quick judge of character in order to get that one right.  What about Miss?  Does this apply to only 12 year old little girls or women wearing a ridiculous hat at a tea party?  Now in normal conversation these don't usually cause a problem because by now we have lost all respect for anyone and usually catch their attention by shouting "Hey You!"  However when you are trying to construct a letter to a person you just briefly spoke with on the phone, this decision is quite a stressful one. A lot of emotion can be attached to those prefixes.  Honestly, even if someone were to ask me which I preferred I probably wouldn't know the difference between Ms. and Miss anyways.  Does anyone have an algorithm that will solve my problem?

Back in the Saddle Again

Well hello! My absence from the Utah scene and the lack of blogging this past week was due to a much needed vacation!  My mom and I teamed up with Southwest and the Monte Carlo and headed to VEGAS for some sun, shopping and other adventures.  We had the fantastic opportunity to attend the Phantom of the Opera which knocked my socks off!! Even though we were a little far away, it was a superb performance!  We visited Madame Tussaud's Celebrity Wax Museum, which to be honest was a little creepy.  It was awesome how real they looked, but at the same time I half expected them to turn their head and wonder why I was pretending to kiss their cheek.  Either way, it was pretty cool kickin' it with Michael Jordan, J-Lo (who's booty is surprisingly far from large), Arnold Schwarzenegger yes I had to look up how to spell his name..., Matthew McConaughey and his, Will Smith, Eva Longoria and Marilyn Monroe to name a few.  We shopped our little hearts out and I came back with an overstuffed suitcase filled with goodies!  I added #9 to my Vans family and even converted my mother to her very first pair of Vans!  It wasn't even against her will either, bazinga!  We ate a large spectrum of great foods and sealed the deal with a Haagen Dazs Mint and Brownie Dazzler shake.  It's a good thing food there is so outrageously expensive or else I probably would have had to request two seats on our flight home.  Nevertheless my mom and I hit the gym a few times (testing out my bright new running shoes!) and soaked up plenty of rays by the pool.  Oh I told you that our hotel had it's own wave pool and lazy river right?  No? Well it did, and it blew my mind. nbd.  One of my favorite places though had to have been the Venetian hotel.  We went there for both shows and also to just look around the hotel/shopping center.  Inside the hotel it has a river/canal running through it with gondolas!!  It was a magical place with romantic restaurants, gondolas, fantastic architecture and the smell of somewhere fascinatingly foreign.  It was straight out of my dreams and I loved every second of it.  One day I'm going to go back and ride in one of those gondolas!  Little slice of heaven right there. 

Overall the vacation went really well!!  Most were curious why we were in Vegas if we didn't drink, gamble or attend clubs, and sometimes they had me wondering as well, but it turned out to be a really great time! Thanks mom for a fantastic week!!

Now back for some adventures in the (801)!