June 28, 2010

"Sitting, Waiting, Wishing....."

Alright... I just sold my contract (FINALLY) and for some reason my mind won't quit thinking about finding a place to live for the fall. You'd think I'd be able to handle at least a week of no stress, some unpredictability and a hint of flying by the seat of my pants, but nope. I've already found the place of my dreams. Of course I realize this now, but when I went to go look at the place on Saturday I felt a lot of crazy emotions that I surely wasn't expecting. It started with the fact that no one would be able to accompany me in my meeting with my future landlord. I parked my car, arriving 5 minutes before I was suppose to meet Shirley. (Don't worry, I don't know her last name, we are working on a You've Got Mail "don't you know you're suppose to have a last name? It's like they are a whole generation of cocktail waitresses" basis.) Walking through the complex I had no idea where to go besides that it was #311. Alright, so 3rd floor...? It didn't help that in the center of the complex is the pool, with people swimming in the pool. Great, people in the pool!? What could be more unexpected. I pressed forward acting as if I was a regular and knew exactly where I was going. False. Don't worry, I happen to pick the wrong building and was stuck pressed behind the wall, wondering how I can jet across to the other side of the complex without the people in the pool knowing that I was completely lost. Bullets falling from my brow....because it was a gazillion degrees outside....I examined my options. 1] Stay here and wait for Shirley to call to direct me, meaning that I can be on the phone while I cross the pool. 2] Walk past the pool, strike up a conversation with the extremely good looking set of abs in the pool about how "lost" I am. Nope, too much pride. 3] Suck it up. Walk across and risk having to walk back if that building isn't right either. 4] Sit and cry, hoping that my mother could hear me from Salt Lake. Unfortunately, highly unlikely. Well as I was feeling pretty pathetic, rolling these options around in my head, #1 was selected for me as Shirley called. Lucky me! I happen to be in the right building, just needed to turn the corner. I sighed with relief and accompanied that with a silent prayer of thanks. The condo was beautiful.... Everything looked great, all decorated, furnished, and absolutely magnificent. One minor problem. I'm scared. This is a grown up place. I have to worry about paying gas and electricity on my own. It's a bit pricey, and I won't know anyone there. I've never done something this big by myself before. Jenna Rae Rallston said she might move in, cross your fingers but I don't know how promising that is at this point. Part of it is exciting that I can start fresh and new on my own, but it's not as exciting when I'm celebrating in my head instead of with my blonde friend next to me. Luckily I'm not even going to be on my own completely, Kaylyn is just a block down the street which is another reason why this place is so enticing. I could walk over to her place, or her to mine, anytime we wanted! (I can't wait for a year of fun Kay!)

Really, I have nothing to fear but rather everything to be excited for. Now that I have talked to my Mom and Dad and every one of my friends, I don't think I'll ever be able to make a decision on my own. I'm getting more and more obsessed with the idea of living there. The only problem is that now I have to wait to see if I can get the place. Waiting?? Ugh. It only took me a day and a half to be completely devoted to this place! So that's where I'm wait, listening to Jack Johnson as he and I are just "sitting, waiting, wishing...."

"The important thing is this:

To at any moment be able to sacrifice what we are, for what we could become."

-Charles Du Bos

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