Bargain Burglar

I have a problem. Looks like genetics have proved to over-rule common sense.

Let me set up the scenario:

I look in the fridge with my stomach a-grumbling but only to find.... nothing with my name on it. Off to my favorite place on earth! The GROCERY STORE! Much like most women can spend hours at the mall rushing from store to store in complete bliss; I feel the same love for those numbered aisles at places like Maceys, WalMart, Target and WinCo (that's for you Jake). For some reason, I enjoy pushing my little cart up and down each aisle checking for any possibility. On average, 1-2 hours are needed to complete this vigorous search for goodies. Now you are probably thinking to yourself, "self, what on earth could be wrong with this situation??" I answer to your self with one word. Bargains. Maybe another word? Sales.

I have an addiction to anything that is, "half off, today only!," "buy one get one free," "20 for a $1," and the list could go on and on. I tell you what, those guys in advertising love people like me. They are brilliant. Flash that big yellow sign in front of my face, direct me where to go, take as much of my money as you'd like and I'm the happiest person alive. One problem with this is that my bank account doesn't seem to like this Bargain Burglar. Hey even if I can't pay my rent because I just spent it all on food, I'll at least be alive! You can live anywhere - some person's floor, cardboard box, but you can't live without food. Recently Maceys was where I last found the burglar. Everything I got in my cart was on sale or found through a really good deal, but those $1's surely added up. Another problem, is that I end up with 10 boxes of cereal when I only needed one. You had to get 10 boxes if you wanted the deal, and I couldn't pay 0.32 more for the one single box I needed! I had to buy 9 more that I didn't need! Status update: I am now currently eating cereal for every meal, and will be for the next 4 months. At least I am starting my food storage right? Yes... good intentions....

Anyways, before I ramble on much longer, I leave you with this warning. If you ever go grocery shopping with me you will

a) learn to never come again unless you enjoy being bored

b) be held responsible for containing my will to take advantage of every bargain I see, and

c) quickly watch your bank account deplete because I will have convinced you that you need every item of food in your cart. :)