Crutches

Dear Crutches:

Somedays you are a blessing, and somedays I'd like to think of you as a curse. No offense. There are however, many times that I've had to just take a break for a second to laugh at myself. For example, while at work on Monday I had to use the ladies room. Uh-Oh. Since it is too much of a pain to get around most of the time, I only get up when it is absolutely necessary; a free cookie in the breakroom, when I have about 44 pages on the printer that need to be picked up, or when I have just gulped 24 oz of water. So I hobbled up, got my crutches and headed for relief. I got to the door, turned the handle and pushed the door open proceeding to crutch through. Well I forgot that when I was big and strong, that door was no match for my super toned body. Now, the door came flying back leaving my head to cushion its closing. Rubbing my head and sparing a glance around, relieved that everyone was at lunch, I put my head down and slowly but surely nudged the door open with my noggin. I finally got it open enough that I thought I could risk a hop on my crutches through the door. Taking a deep breath I nudged the door as hard as I could with my head and ran -kinda- through the opening. The door slammed shut behind me leaving me breathing heavy. Whew! I leaned on my crutches for a second and then realized how ridiculous I probably looked just now and started to laugh. Oh geez. I'm sure the Big Man Upstairs got a kick out of it. :) I sure did as well.

Lesson #1: Hold it.

When I was younger, I always wanted crutches, and was envious of those kids who had them. I also really wanted a retainer, but that's another story for another day.... Well now that I have had crutches for the past 2 weeks and will continue on them for 4 more weeks, I don't really care for them much anymore. None of those little kids told me that crutches come with bruised palms and rubbed raw armpits.

Lesson #2: Stay away from package deals.

Even though crutches are a pain, I'm very grateful that I have them. I may grumble, but deep down I really am happy that I'm on the recovery! No one needs armpits anyways. P.S. They stink. Physical therapy has been going SO great! Thanks Peak Physical Therapy! Looks like the record for the fastest recovery is still in reach. ;) Zoom, zoom, zoom! (Katie, Karlie and Jake would get the significance of that... haha)

Lesson #3: Optimism combined with denial make quite a good cup of whatever it would be.

Special Thanks to my family and friends for taking care of me, keeping me sane, and putting up with my unavoidable laziness! I love you all!

Lesson #4: DOMINATION! (I couldn't leave it at 3....)