May 2, 2011

Slightly Stealing....

Okay Ashley was the real one that posted this first.... and I don't want to take it..... but I have to let you all read this! It is sooo fantastic! I shortened it a little since it was really long. Check out her blog here..... or just read below :) Nice find Ashes!
By: Aaron Karo
1. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy.
2. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
3. Do you remember when you were a kid playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
4. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
5. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
6. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then make sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really really gets it.
7. How the heck are you suppose to fold a fitted sheet?
8. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
9. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
10. Was learning cursive really necessary?
11. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud," to "I have nothing else to say."
12. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
13. Answering the same letter 3 times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
14. Whenever someone says, "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart." All I hear is, "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart."
15. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
16. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone for 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss' last name to an attorney and said, "Yes that's G as in....(10 second lapse)... umm.. Goonies."
17. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
18. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instictively swerved to avoid it... thanks Mario Kart.
19. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
20. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
21. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
22. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
23. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
24. Bad decisions make good stories.
25. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
26. Is it just me or do High School girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
27. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
28. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem...
29. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
30. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
31. There is no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to fall after leaning your chair back a little too far.
32. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
33. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
34. I hate when I just miss a call by the last right (Hello? Hello? Shoot!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
35. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
36. When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
37. I like all the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every 15 songs in my iTunes.
38. As a driver I hate pedestrians, as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
39. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
40. I keep some people's phone number in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
41. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what to do with it.
42. I wonder if cops ever get mad at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
43. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag I saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the resaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself.


  1. Seriously fantastic Hailey/Ash!!! I especially loved the blowing on the nintendo games...why does that work so well? Freaky!

  2. Wow I love this! All are so true. I especially love #29 about not being productive at work since I am currently reading this work at the moment and have no plans to do anything else for the day.

  3. #28 i actually had to go through the other day...and honestly i thought to myself (3 people before my turn) "WHY am i so nervous?" haha! if you go to there's a ton more that random people add everyday. they're fun to peruse:)

  4. That is great stuff. Oh my gosh, somebody understands all of the intricacies of my life